I’ve explained that my Sr. Editor/co-worker is currently out for a couple of months. Thus, it falls to me to edit our major value-add publication and ensure its on-time approval by our executives.

Three words sum up what I am feeling now: I hate this.

Here is a fun way I’ve found to lighten the situation a bit without sounding overly critical of my {ahem} illustriously detailed executive co-workers.

Side Note: details like my co-workers names are changed to protect the innocent, feel free to use the rest of the copy for your own internal communications but keep in mind I take no responsibility for the responses you may receive.

ALWAYS read your own situation before applying someone else’s copy to your own communications!

——————————————————————————-

Hello Everyone,

Attached is the preliminary layout of your contribution to Quarterly News. As you may note, in Sheila’s absence we are modifying the editing process, slightly, to ensure that Quarterly News maintains its level of quality and consistency.

We hope you’ll indulge us in this exercise and we can receive your sign off by end of business, this Friday, March 23^rd.

For your benefit, we have prepared this FAQ to help guide you through this process:

Q: Who do I go to if I would like changes to the text in my contribution?

A: We have made every attempt to maintain the content given to us while streamlining grammar, punctuation and style so it matches throughout the issue.

If you do need to make changes, Jared will be more than happy to work with you to ensure that the final text meets your needs and business style. You can contact him at 202-555-2125, your.name@yourname.org or by screaming his name down your closest hallway.

Q: What if I have issues with the layout?

A: This is one of those changes in the editing process we mentioned. Normally, graphics are added after your text has been approved so unless you need the content of your graphs modified, we ask that you refrain from requesting different graphics or changes to your layout since it most likely affect the rest of the issue.

In this case, we make this request on behalf of both your own safety as well that of the staff of the department. With Sheila absent, we have all been drinking too much coffee and the result of too many change requests probably won’t be pretty for any of us.

Q: I want my Sheila back!

A: One, she’s not here. Two, we want her back as well. Three, for now you’ve got Jared so please take advantage of this opportunity and let him help you.

After all, someone that takes this much time to write out an e-mail with these types of FAQs has to be worth something in the editing process.

Thanks for your cooperation!

Best,
Jared

Today, AdAge.com reviews this ad and lambastes BBDO, the agency that created the ad for being homophobic and insensitive.

I have to say that I disagree with their assessment. It’s not hate speech, its just bad copywriting.

For the same reason that you don’t have a fishing ad that reads “Use this product and you’ll become a master baiter in no time!,” this ad should have not been approved. BBDO and Chrysler (maker of the Dodge Caliber) aren’t homophobic, just ignorant to the fact that they needed a better copywriter with…you know…ideas.

Let’s call a spade a spade here. If we as the gay business community want to be taken seriously lets cut this reactive nonsense and call it what it is; bad copywriting with poor supervision. BBDO wasn’t insensitive, they’re lazy.

The only barrier to this is that I know even if I slowed down and more carefully reviewed my work I would still need the input of an external editor.

Let me tell you, nothing kills an ego trip like gazing down at a document that you once considered masterful to see a myriad of crossed out words and rhetorical questions scribbled in the margins. When you take your work to heart and then someone edits your work it’s almost like bleeding to death from a thousand tiny cuts.

I guess this is why creative individuals working for corporate entities develop tough skins. Is there a lesson here about accepting criticism with class or is it just an argument for less people to be involved in a project?

Either way and until my Prozac kicks in, I still hate edits.

Show Notes:
I) The Project
II) Small Business Client Mania
II) Day-by-Day Recap
III) Speak no, hear no, see no bad ambitions – get no bad marketing

Project Files:

Click Here To Download Project File & Notes (PDF Format)

Podcast:

Right Click And ‘Save As’ To Download Full Show

In 10 seconds, come up with as many headlines as you can to market a product of or about the follwing pictures subject matter. Ready? Go!

• “Prepare to meet thy doom, Rodent!” (RatTrap)
• “It’s tax season. Are your W-2’s ready?” (TurboTax)
• “Don’t let embarasing moments keep you from looking your best.” (Friz-Eze)
• “Next time on Project Runway: Santino makes over fluffy!” (Bravo TV)
• “Ever feel like you need to get away?” (Travelocity)
• “In about 3 seconds, you’ll see why the Clorox Bleach Pen works so well” (Clorox)
• “Cat loving grandmothers can squeeze the ever-living daylights out of you – but they can’t save you hundreds of dollars on car insurance.” (Gieco)

Now let’s try it for podcasters & bloggers!

• “You think this one’s cute – wait till you see mine!” (Wanda Wisdom)
• “Cutter. Process. Kitty.” (The Vision Thing)
• “Zaba-do-beep-meow!” (American Copywritier) – p.s. 10 cool points if you got that…
• “Guees who we caught molesting this kitty in the Dirkson office building?” (Wonkette)
• “Your Kitty | Your Hairball” (20-Something Marketing Forum)

Particularly, I love ones with strong female vocalists with powerful closing numbers about triumph and rising above adversity (i.e. Defying Gravity from Wicked). Same goes for soulful presentations with incredible back up choruses. You know the ones; the numbers that make the hair stand up on the back of your neck want to make you just jump up and sing with them?

I call this the chorus effect because what you are responding to is not the vocalist alone, but also the surge and excitement of what can be described as the secondary adaptors as well. This one-two punch creates a surge of positive feelings that make you want to take action in one way or another.

Now, apply this concept to marketing…

I always hearken back marketing and design to great pieces of artwork. Specifically, the craft and design of marketing collateral (web sites, direct mail letters, brochures, banners, etc.) and how it draws your eye around on the page. The same can be said of the chorus effect and your “voice” in marketing.

A great example of this is speechwriting. Writing a speech is just like writing a song for a musical. In a good, persuasive speech, there are multiple tracks (lines of reasoning the audience can connect with), cadence (patters of speech serving as a drumbeat that draws the audience along) as well as a resounding chorus that leaves the audience applauding at the crescendo of your point.

As Robe Lowe as Sam Seaborn on the West Wing says:

The difference between a good speech and a great speech is the energy with which the audience comes to their feet at the end. Is it polite? Is it a chore? Are they standing up because their boss just stood up? No. We want it to come from their socks.

This demonstrates the chorus effect in writing copy. Its easy enough to see the application of the chorus effect in speechwriting but what about in regular copy? What if you tried to make even the 3-sentance product blurb something that your reader wants to get up and applaud at? Or even better – take action because of…

In every piece of written copy, try for the chorus effect. Let’s dissect a three sentence blurb I used earlier this week…edited, of course for your consternation on where I work….

“The new widget from Acme Co. creates the next generation of accounts by liberating funds trapped in traditional widgets and turns them into valuable core deposits. This online widget platform goes further than any single technology solution by spanning multiple areas of doodle operations. Not only does the platform help to improve profitability and better leverage cross-sell opportunities, but is also provides customers with single sign-on access to their doodles, widget accounts , and more. Let us help you liberate those core deposits by calling (555)-4-PROFIT for a consultation, today.”

In all fairness, this doesn’t sound like much without specifics but to a customer you know is in dire need of those core deposits, this is literally an uplifting proposition.

The idea behind this is that you attempt to utilize key elements of an emotional appeal (in this instance the use of the words “liberate” and “trapped”). These words elicit an emotional response that can help to compel the reader to act. {I imagine my clients crying as if they were at the pound going “Please, please let the deposits go! They deserve to be free!”}

Finally, its not enough to put one emotional tie-in…that’s why I call it the chorus effect. By layering your dialogue or copy, you can effectively bring the reader to their feet then give them the second punch to go out and do something. In this particular instance, its the call to action. The call to action in my given snippet presents a serious emotional appeal and a direct action.

Compelling emotion and marketing effectively are two identical processes. Next time you are writing copy, pop in your iPod to your favorite uplifting song and ask yourself how you can make that copy read like the song makes you feel. Don’t be afraid to use emotion, don’t be afraid to use stronger language – just make it work by remembering that the copy will read as you want the reader to feel it.